he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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