Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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