And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
