i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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