So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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