This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
