I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
