at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dick very happy bro
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