i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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