shes about as inviting as chlamydia
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
