No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
