she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
