so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
