There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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