if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
