Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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