I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize