DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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