3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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