My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
