Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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