Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
where am i from again
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize