she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
