The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
