I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize