Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
