with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
