capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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