A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
