she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize