I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
