I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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