Sry I called you an 8
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
