glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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