i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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