Plan B is the new Plan A
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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