just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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