He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize