There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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