the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
