he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
