Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
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It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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