I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I FOUND THE LEGS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize