you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize