why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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