dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So. Much. Porn.
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