Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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