well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
