Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
