is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
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What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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