at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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