called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
