It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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