i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do vagina's smell?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
