How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
