Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
