I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
