i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
