Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
